Saving Ryou
by Aya Ayame
Summary: As the Spirit of the Ring has been defeated, Ryou begins remembering all of the terrible things done while under the control of the Ring. Will he be able to come to terms with these memories, or are they too much for him to handle? Trigger Warnings at beginning.
1. Catch Me I'm Falling

**A/N: Trigger Warnings for this story are for Attempted Suicide, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, plausible Sexual Assult in the Yami Bakura flash backs. Please do not read if these topics are hard for you. **

**This story is cathartic for me, as I personally deal with some of these topics or have dealt with them. It's a way for me to constructively get out my toxic feelings in a positive way. So, if anyone is offended by anything. I do apologize. However, I am using personal experience or thoughts in this. This piece is completely self serving as I work through a lot of pain right now.**

**Thank you for the read, and please review or PM if you feel there's anything I could portray better when it comes to these heavy topics.**  
**Ciao,**  
**Aya**

It had been one week since Ryou had returned to Domino with Yugi and the gang. One week since he was separated from the Spirit of the Millennium Ring. One would think with all that he would be happy being able to take his life back into his own hands. Finally able to make his own choices. However, with the Spirit gone the lapses in Ryou's memories began slowly working their way into the light of his mind. It would seem that with his dark side gone, so to were the barriers placed in Ryou's mind.

It was through one of these regained memories that Ryou found himself walking through Domino City in the rain. Tears pouring from lifeless cognac eyes. Though he lived through his own horrors while unable to control his body, he couldn't help but feel responsible for the unlimited amount of lives he had destroyed. His own father being one of them.

Ryou wasn't quite certain how he got there, but when he became aware of his surroundings, he found himself at the Domino City Bridge. Pale hands wrapped around the cool metal of the walker's railing as he looked out onto the dark waters below.

_This would all just stop if I weren't around._ Ryou though as fresh tears slipped from his eyes. _I wouldn't have to hurt or be hurt anymore if it ended._

Lifting a leg, Ryou climbed over the railing. Hands still wrapped around it as he stared into the waters below. _I'm so sorry, everyone. I just can't do this anymore._ Ryou thought, hands slipping as he made to let go.

"Ryou? Ryou, is that you?" A voice called out, causing the young man to regain his grip and whip his head around.

Through drenched white hair, he saw you standing there, clear dome umbrella in hand, and (y/e/c) eyes wide in confusion and stress.

"(Y/n), leave me alone." Ryou started as he looked back at the water below him. "I can't do this anymore."

Your eyes widened at Ryou's words. Your heart skipping a beat in fear as you hurried to stand beside him.

"Ryou, talk to me please. Tell me about what's bothering you." Xia replied.

"Talking isn't going to fix anything. (Y/n), I messed up. I let hi-im do t-t-errible things a-and i-it w-w-would be better if I w-ern't here to h-hurt people a-nymore." Ryou choked out.

"Ryou that's not true." You spoke softly, tears welling in your eyes. "You know that no one blames you for what that Spirit did. Nor, does anyone have any ill will toward you Ryou. You matter so much, Ryou. I would be heartbroken if you left."

Ryou glanced at you again, brown meeting (y/e/c). His broken, though he couldn't make out the vast emotions swirling through your orbs.

"It... it just hurts, (Y/n)." Ryou whispered.

"I know it does Ryou." You began, as you extended your hand to him. "But you don't have to go through this alone Ryou. Please, let me help you."

"Why?"

"Because Ryou, you're my friend. That's what friends do." You said, offering a smile to the young man.

Ryou looked to your hand before looking back at the water. He could go through with this. Take all this pain away. _ You might survive it though. The fall. And then you'll still have to deal with the pain._

The thought passed his head, filling him with a small urge not to jump. He knew he couldn't live for himself right now. It was too much to live for his own needs. Maybe, he could do it for you though.

Carefully, Ryou turned around and climbed back over the rail. He took your hand in his, squeezing it as he needed to feel anchored to something. A sigh escaped your lips from feeling Ryou's wet hand in yours.

Dropping your umbrella, you pulled Ryou into you wrapping your arms tightly around the man. "I'm so glad you're here Ryou. Thank you for trusting me." You whispered softly in his ear.

Surprise filled Ryou as he felt the solidity of you. Openly the man began sobbing, as he returned your hug, essentially crushing you to him. He kept repeating gratitude and apologies in your ear. The two stayed like that for a while. You were content on letting Ryou feel his emotions wholly.

"Ryou, would you like to come over to my place?" You asked softly so as not to startle him. "I'm going to make some food and we can get out of the rain."

A sniff left Ryou, as he leaned back to look down at you. His eyes shifted over your face, looking for anything that might lead him to believe you were trying to trick him. However, he only found compassion there, as well as a hope that he would accept.

"I-i would like that. Yes." Ryou responded sheepishly.

A smile lit up your face as you wrapped your arm around Ryou's. "Great! I just got some new movies today, or we can play games when we get there-" you rambled as you pulled Ryou along with you and to your apartment.

It was going to take some time you knew, but for tonight at least Ryou was safe.


	2. Anchor

**Trigger Warnings: Depression, anxiety, panic, self-depreciation. All experiences are based off of my own experiences with anxiety and depression. **

If you or someone you know needs help, please contact:  
suicide?msclkid=0e281aa67a271490a803448ecdfe8d2b  
or  
/

Ryou stood quietly in your entry way as he waited for you to return from your bedroom. You had calmly asked him if he would be alright by himself for a few moments as you grabbed some towels and a spare change of clothes. You had been peeling off your wet navy blue windbreaker and black flats as you spoke. Putting them in their appropriate places. Slowly, Ryou nodded in affirmation, causing a small smile to grace your lips with a promise to be back while you disappeared into your bedroom.

Though he was sure only a few minutes passed, Ryou felt as if he'd been standing there forever. The lack of distraction causing his thoughts to fester at the forefront of his consciousness.

_**She doesn't really care about you.**_ The dark thought coming to him with the voice of his Yami. _**You're pathetic problems aren't worth her time. You know she's really in there trying to find a way to get rid of you.**_

A small tremor wracked Ryou's body as fresh tears welled in his eyes. The voice was right of course. You didn't need to waste your time with him. He was sure you had better more pressing things to deal with. You were a busy woman after all with work and school and your friends. Really, he should just leave and deal with this on his own.

_Yes, I'll go home and let (y/n) be._ Ryou thought decisively. _I can deal with my problems by myself._

Before he could act on these thoughts however, you exited your bedroom. You had changed out of your wet clothes and into a matching set of black pajamas with white polka-dots. Your arms wrapped around a gray towel and holding it to your chest.

"Sorry it took me so long," you started with your head down as you crossed your living room to Ryou. "I wanted to change real quick and then I couldn't find my spare towels-"

You finally looked up. You (y/e/c) eyes taking the young man before you in. Ryou watched as your brow furrowed and your lips pulled down into a frown. He was having a hard time deciphering your reaction causing his anxiety to continue to rise.

_**Can't you see she's upset you're still here?**_ His Yami's voice spoke again. _**She doesn't want to deal with you. She wants you-**_

_If she wanted you gone, she wouldn't have apologized for taking so long._ A softer thought whispered, interrupting the berating he was giving himself.

"Ryou," you whispered, causing him to snap out of his thoughts, "I'm so sorry I left you alone for so long."

Cognac eyes widened as he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. A small sense of relief washed over him as he whispered, "I-it's alright, (y/n)."

Ryou attempted a smile, hoping to dissuade you from worrying. Though as he observed you he could tell you weren't buying it.

Had it been any other night, any other situation, Ryou knew you would have challenged his statement. But it wasn't a normal night and Ryou was in no way ready for any sort of confrontation no matter how well meaning it may be. He could see the gears of your mind working as you thought of how to proceed.

A moment passed, but finally you seemed to settle on a decision as you extended your hand saying, "Why don't we get you out of those wet clothes, huh?"

"I would like that." Ryou replied, as he slipped his hand in yours.

"Alright, come on then." You spoke, leading him into your bed room.

After entering the room, you swiftly pulled him into your bathroom. You turned the shower on, making sure to show Ryou how the knob worked, as well as where the your various amenities (such as shampoo, body wash, etc.) were.

Ryou watched as you shifted a bit nervously in the room. Your (y/e/c) eyes looking into his as you said, "I'm going to go grab us some food from the kitchen real quick while you shower if that's alright. It should only take me a few minutes to do that and then I'll be just in the bedroom waiting."

The young man nodded approvingly to you. Though part of him worried. What if with you gone he tried to do something drastic? What if he had another panic attack? What if he-

"Ryou," you called, clearly able to see his mental turmoil. "I can stay here with you. You're allowed to want company. I can always grab the food with you there. I just want you to have the option of space if that's what you need. But if you need someone I'll gladly stay with you."

"I'd like if you stayed then." Ryou whispered, as he looked down at the ground.

"Okay, then I'll stay." You said, as you took a seat on the bathroom counter, closing your (y/e/c).

A weight lifted off of Ryou's chest as he stripped out of his close and entered the shower. The warm spray hitting his body almost soothed him. Though he knew it would be temporary, it filled a sense of warmth in him he couldn't manufacture on his own. It was synthetic, but welcomed.

As he began to wash his hair, he heard you start to speak. Your voice coming through in a calm manner. You talked about things that seemed trivial, what you were going to make for dinner, what shows you could watch together before sleeping, etc. It didn't matter though, what you were talking about, so long as Ryou could listen. It helped his mind focus on something other than his thoughts. All he had to do was just was and listen and it would all be okay.

Ten minutes passed, when Ryou turned the shower off. He had begun to reach his hand out for a towel, but before he could your hand slipped passed your shower curtain. Your hand casually offering him the dark gray towel. He grasped it, drying off. You then passed him the clothes you brought for him. A pair of black joggers and a plain midnight blue spirit jersey adorning his body. He was lucky you took comfort in male lounge wear and happened to be around his size.

Pulling back the curtain, Ryou stepped out of your tub. You stood as he stepped out, taking him in as you did. He wasn't anywhere close to being better, but as Ryou watched as you smiled at him a small hopefulness lit in him that maybe one day he could be.

You opened your mouth to speak, when your stomach growled, causing a laugh to slip from your lips, saying, "Well, I guess that's my way of saying it's time to eat. I hope you're hungry Ryou."

"I think I could eat something." Ryou replied, the corner of his lip twitching upward for a second.

"Let's go then!" You exclaimed offering your hand to him.

It was the third time Ryou accepted your offer. Grasping onto you a bit more tightly than usual. It was strange how he knew no matter how many times you offered your hand to him he knew he would accept it. He felt anchored in a sense at your touch. Grounded. As if he still belonged on Earth.

**AN:**

**So, I don't know that I'm a big fan of this chapter, but I wanted to include it anyway. I hardcore grasped onto the idea of Ryou's depressive voice sounding like his Yami, because similarly my depressive thoughts always sound like the person/persons I feel betrayed by in a situation. I feel like for me that's just a part of the trauma and I'm trying to keep this as authentic as possible.**

**That's also why I'm trying to make the Reader as compassionate as plausible, because I'm reflecting things I need when in my bad states, or how I try to act when others need help. **

**I'm mad that the end of this didn't save correctly... However, I think it's similar to how it ended before.**

**Ciao,**

**Aya**


End file.
